Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
