White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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