I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
