she's into porn, im staying here tonight
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
