Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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