I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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