I'm going to jail i love you
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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