she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
