As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
