i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
