Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
