i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
