we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
