Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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