Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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