WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
