Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
