You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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