SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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