I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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