I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
