Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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