and you said cock pushups were impossible
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
