he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
