I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
