she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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