I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
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