he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
