We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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