You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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