My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
