You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
