at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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