you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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