Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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