Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
