I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
