you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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