I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
