high people should be assigned attendants
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
