Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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