Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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