dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
