those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i came on her dog
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
