I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Randomize
