Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
