your room smells of hookers.
And success
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
