they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Randomize
