The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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