This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
