She said her name was "party"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
